Tuesday, September 18, 2012

When Wonderland is all they see

You know those people, the ones that look at you with their eyes glossed over as you lay out a logical map to understanding? Why is it that they can't see what's so very clear? Round and round the conversation flows until someone gets sick enough to jump off. I have to admit that I have often sat in the forests of Wonderland as some brave soul tries to get me to climb out of my hole. Usually that's my husband or my God. Reality is not fun, it's hard and cold sometimes. I don't like conflict and I can't stand fear and anger. I want frolicking and sing song days without worry. But I also want truth and honor. I want to have a goal and fulfill it. I want to struggle, though not too much, and come out triumphantly. I want to believe that there will be eternal footprints that are left by me, ones that are noble and worthy. I want to feel like I was supposed to be here and not just the result of random cells coming together. For these reasons I grab the hand that reaches down and allow myself to let go. It's interesting, being in the hole. You can see it in others. You can see who has been there, who struggles to come back to reality. My heart goes out to them, even if they don't know that I know where they have been. It's a wonderful place in the beginning, this fairy tale world. Somewhere that promises ease and comfort. Somewhere that you don't have to think about what's going on around you. But then something happens and it becomes a dark cave that is almost impossible to get out of. It has power over you that you resent... but love. The only way to get out is to want something more than what you want in your cave wonderland. Get out, it's worth it.

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