Thursday, May 04, 2006

Limbo anyone?

Living in limbo is harder than I expected. We don't know where we will be in 3 months. Its difficult with all these kids, especially living in an apartment with only one car! I do rejoice however. We are in a great position to gain ground with finances and Jason's career. I keep reminding myself that no matter how "secure" we may feel or want to be, we are ultimately in the hands of God. He alone knows our future. I guess I am glad that its not totally up to me! It just gets tough always wondering and not being able to make plans. I pray that God will honor our decision to live below our means and to "tough" it out. I guess I just get tired of survival mode! I must say however that this is truelly NOT survival mode. We have been in MUCH worse situations!! My feelings somehow feel the same though. Funny how they can decieve us so much. Once we take a step back things don't look near as bad as we thought they were. Here is an article on survival mode......
Survival Mode

Most of us are familiar with the term survival mode. It’s that state we find ourselves in when intense situations arise in our lives. I know this state very well. In fact, it had become very comfortable for me. As a child my father was consistently in survival mode. He would say “If we can just get past this”. I didn’t say much back to him because he was my hero. Sometimes I wonder what his response would have been if I had said “Then what? How would things change?” I don’t think he would have had an answer because there was no other way to live that he knew of. He only knew how to live at this state, not “in the here and now”. I don’t remember ever really enjoying a moment. I was always thinking about the moments to come.
Survival mode serves a very important role in our ability to cope through tough situations so I am not saying it is a bad thing. However, if it becomes a way of living, you can never enjoy the moments you have right now. Even when you are not currently in a difficult situation you could find yourself thinking about how much better the future could be if you could just get past today. Today might not be that bad if you take a good look! Slow down, take a couple of deep breathes, and pay attention to what your five senses are saying. Your brain is not one of your senses! Shut it off. Sure our children need to see us successfully cope with life situations, but they also need to see us enjoy what’s going on around us right now!

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