Tuesday, July 10, 2007


I teach patience to my children but I don't think I have learned the full meaning of the word. I was thinking/praying today about what God wanted me to do with my life BESIDES raise my children and be a good wife. I haven't received an answer back and I think it's because this IS what he wants me to do right now. Not sure yet but I think that he will present the next thing to me in the right timing. So, what's my job right now? I guess it's to prepare and be ready for whenever he calls me to something different, without neglecting my purpose for right now. Is this hard? YES! The reason it's hard for me is because I desire to do more, to open myself up, let my creative juices flow, and feel that surety that says "this is my sweet spot". I feel an emptiness, anxiousness, and stirring within me. Does this mean that God will show me soon what he wants me to do? NO! I have felt this way my whole life. There have only been a couple of times when that hunger inside has been quenched-dare I say from what? Not here, for fear that I am wrong. FEAR- the f word that destroys the most passionate of people. I think it should be labeled a curse word!LOL

Ok, enough soul searching! Jason stayed home again yesterday in the hopes that he will get better. I am tired as well. This has been a couple of hard weeks for me. I am praying that God will lift me up like he has done so many times before. He is faithful. The baby is growing big! He is about 2 lbs now and is really kicking alot. The kids already know him by Andrew so that will be his name. Summer even comes over to me and rubs my belly and gives it a kiss and says "Hey Andrew, Love you". How adorable!! I am going to get them out of the house today because they have been staying in since being sick. Everyone is getting cranky!

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