The Generous Giver

I just wanted to say Thank You to Aimee for her gift. She had a little contest going on over there and I won. She gave me a Cd(Valley of Vision-I love it), a candle, 3 yogi tea bags(I will try today), a sweet card, and a cool bag called a wrap sack. Thank you so much! I love everything. The best part was that she gave it to me in person because she lives in the area. She is also the sister of a lady that goes to my church. How neat is that? Last night in our bible study at church(we are doing Beth Moore's "Stepping Up") we talked about giving. That is something I need to do more of! I want the children to grow up knowing how to give. I will be talking with them today about ways we can change. Thanks Aimee for your inspiration.

MySpace Pictures

Have you ever searched for anyone on Myspace? I did a search for my sister today and I couldn't help but laughing. Let's "face" it. People just look silly trying to be seductive! It really cracked me up. Go look for yourself(be careful what you search for). And please, if you have a myspace account and you have one of those pics, go change it.

Inviting Company Over

Do you invite people over? I rarely invite people over and it made me wonder why. I think several things are at play here. When I was little, I never wanted anyone to see how filthy my house was(my Mom was severly depressed and my Dad didn't have time to clean because he was working 2-3 jobs sometimes.) Therefore, I rarely invited anyone over. Dh never even saw the house I was living in when we met. I lived there for 2 years before we moved. Also, I think why would anyone want to spend time with me or my family? No one else has this many kids so surely they wouldn't want to come over in the midst of us. I was specifically thinking about a couple at my church who have kept our kids on 2 occasions. They have a young son who the kids love to play with. I have never invited them over. It dawned on me that this might seem rude. However, what if they don't want him to come over? What if they don't trust me as a caretaker? Do any of you feel this way. Is this silly thinking? I guess they could say that they don't want him to come over, period. But, I don't want to put them in that situation and I surely don't want to feel unworthy. What do you think?

Unschooling..letting kids dictate their own bedtime

Recently I posted a question to an unschooling board in response to a conversation about letting the kids dictate their own bedtime. It seems there were many Moms who did this. This was my question, the response that I got, and how I responded back..
~Question:
I am new to the group and am enjoying all the conversations! I was reading about letting the kids stay up and I have a question. When do you get time in with Dh? Right now we put the kids to bed at 7:30 and then we have a snack and play cards. We talk about the day and Dh then starts work on his computer stuff(a hopeful home business) and I either go to bed or clean up etc..If we tried this with the kids up, we wouldn’t be able to have an adult conversation. I don’t mind the lack of me time because I get up early in the morning so that I have me time but Dh can’t stay up till 12 because he has to get up for work. So, when do you ladies spend time with your husbands? Thanks!
~Response I got:
those of us as children who were sent to bed because of "adult time'
are tricked into thinking this is some type of sacred time-- at my
house it is called family time. What is wrong with family time? You
have to get out of the mindset that YOUR life begins when the
children are to bed. OUr life IS the family and there is nothing
about adult time that the kids can not be part of.

~How I responded back:
I disagree. My husband comes before my children. It’s important to us to have this time to talk about our relationship and where God is taking us. This is also the time that we are intimate. That obviously can’t be family time. LOL When my children choose to leave our home I want to know my husband. I want to look back and remember the intimate quiet times with him. As for the kids, he plays with them for an hour before bed. He chases them around the house, helps them play the wii, and teaches them how to draw 3d in blender. So, he is VERY “family” oriented. It’s not like he doesn’t want to spend time with them. He takes the baby at night(he’s 4 months) and always has. You see what I am trying to say? I feel like that there should be clear definable times when Mom’s and Dad’s relationship should be nourished and refreshed. I am not trying to start an argument or anything, just asking to see how others structure this time in with letting the kids stay up. Thanks.
P.S. I don’t feel like my life begins when the kids go to bed. I feel like it’s just another part of the day, one I hold close to my heart because this is the man that God has given me and my kids. I get to know him better. This is our 10th year of marriage so I can say, without a doubt, that God holds us together. It’s at these quiet times also that we seek him and his will for our family. We include the kids in prayer, etc.. but at these times, it’s us before the Father.
Now, for those unschoolers out there, what is your response? I really am just curious, not really trying to argue. For anyone else out there who wishes to respond, be my guest!

****Editing to say Thanks to all those folks who emailed me and supported my thoughts on this subject! The point was made that we can unschool without unparenting.

Mustard Greens in Green Shakes and Banana Milk

~If you try mustard greens in your green shakes, do you find that it gets spicier after it sits? It's already a little on the spicy side, to me anyway. It was really good though, until I let it sit for a while in the frig.
~Have you ever tried blending a banana in some water and putting it in your raw oats? Let it sit for a bit. It tastes like banana milk! Add some nuts and it is so good.

We finally got the car fixed last week and we got to all go to church yesterday. Man, there is something special about everyone going. we had wonderful services because this is Missions Festival week. So, we got to listen to the missionaries talk about the places they have been and are planning on going. It was very humbling. It makes me want to throw out all of my luxuries and rebel against the world of modernization. Oh wait, that includes Internet. Don't think I could do that! I get so much support from some wonderful ladies at cmomb.com and Momys.net. Truly wise and blessed women. Many other things I could(and do in some cases) live without like tv, video games, convenience foods, clothes that are overpriced, and the list goes on. I have stopped wearing makeup because I realized that it's useless. Dh said he likes it better when I don't wear makeup! So, I don't have to pay for the product and I don't have to give the government any money to look "pretty". The question I have been asking myself is "What do I really need?" I think this is a question that needs to get asked often because we have different needs at different times in our lives. It also changes from person to person. If I didn't have children I might just do away with health insurance(though I don't know if that would be a wise choice..LOL) It makes me sooo angry at the wastefulness of our government AND our own wastefulness. When I was working at the Hyatt(a while back!) the company gave everyone a huge turkey. This was all wonderful and everything but most of the people were not living in want. They didn't need it. Half of them just left it in their freezer. So, I decided I would write the president a proposal to give all the turkeys away that people weren't going to use. We could give it away to the poor. I did add that it would be beneficial financially if they put news of their generosity in the paper. Well, they decided to give the turkeys away to the poor and guess what, it was in the paper! At least I made a small impact. I believe they still do this to this day(Where I worked, I don't think this went national). So, a challenge to me and to all of us is to find ways of being less wasteful and in the process maybe we can actually become useful.

Our home is protected

This is pretty funny. A couple of days ago At&T came out and just started digging up our front yard to change out something. Dh was a little disturbed because there was SOME grass there(and we really don't have much in the first place..LOL) but he didn't fuss about it. Then, we got up the other morning and Dh goes to get in the car and he comes back in. He looks at me and says, "Do you notice anything different about our yard? Is there something missing?" I looked out and realized we had no mailbox!! Someone had completely taken down our mailbox and left a huge tire mark in our yard(near the road..but still). Dh fixed it yesterday and when he came in he explained his view on things. Satan doesn't like our yard obviously. But, we think that there is a circle of Angels surrounding our home. All these things are Satan's attempt to get at us but God's army has surrounded us! All God has allowed him to have is a measly piece of land! Thank you God.

Trip down memory lane..

This morning I was cleaning out the guest room and just had to stop and look at some old pictures. I love looking back! It's so fun to see how we change. It brings back so many feelings and memories. I am going to upload some of my favorites today. Needless to say, I have yet to clean up the room. LOL :(

My sister and I when I was 10 LOL

My younger sister and I.

This is in Moldova Russia. I went there on a mission trip. This was at the house where we always ate. They were so kind. Beside me is our interpreter.

This was in the Mayor's office in Moldova, I believe. As you can see, I was surrounded by "wisdom" LOL I was only 14 but I had a heart for missions even then. My pastor(Pastor Rob is on the far left) was a very good friend of mine.

Jason and I at his prom. I was 16.

My family just a year ago! It was a great day.

Love walking down memory lane...

~Contentment is accepting from God's hand what he sends because we know that He is good and therefore it is good.

My Son's favorite song

I would LOVE to be in the choir on this one. Can you imagine? Dh says that it sounds like good/evil in battle.

Oh Father God,
I praise you for your unfailing love, it's pureness and strength made new to me every morning.
If only I could see it's vastness, surely I would never forget!
You carry me with your words that are carefully infused into tones that produce songs of hope and joy.
Thank you for the beauty of physically hearing. Thank you for allowing me to be touched by reading inspired words from Heaven.
Thank you for using these blessings to grant peace to me. Help me to remember your word, to treasure it in the deepest part of my mind and heart.

Beautiful song

Ok, climbing down off of Mount Whine-a-lot

Man, I feel silly. I started reading a book called "Calm my Anxious Heart". In the beginning she talks about being content. She gives practical ways to showing(and eventually feeling) contentment. I do NOT do these things. In fact, I do the opposite most of the time. One of the things that I am guilty of is thinking I am in a different place just to get past the rough times during the day. Kind of daydreaming in a way. Also, I will constantly tell myself, it's going to get better. This is the wrong way to think(especially considering I have NO idea if it really will get better LOL). We need to enjoy our lives where we are at. In the times when we need help, we ask God to give us the strength to live in it , rather than live somewhere else in our heads. I am really summarizing here so if you have read the book, don't bash me for not getting it quite right. It's very good so far, just started this morning. One of the ways to be content is to not complain about anything. Boy, I hang my head in shame here. For those that read my blog, I know that you know, I am bad about this. So, here's to a new start. I always tell my kids not to complain, I guess it's my turn. :)

A Very Boonie visit

My sister, or Boonie Bug as I like to call her, visited yesterday. I always enjoy her visits. It's funny because we weren't always good friends. She was a REALLY bad sister! She was sooo mean to me. We were talking about this yesterday and had several good laughs. I asked her why she didn't play with me. Why did she take the heads off of my barbie dolls. She said she took the heads off because I wouldn't let them marry Cecil, her stuffed animal monkey looking thing. I don't remember that, but it is funny! She said she was mean to me because she always got into trouble for stuff that I did(take the hairbrush, lose something). Nothing big she said. One time she hid my shoes for church and Mom got really angry. I am told, though I don't remember anything, that Mom drug me down the hall by my hair. She said she felt bad. I remember the shoes being lost but I guess I was too traumatized to remember the rest! LOL At any rate, we had a great time. I wish she lived closer. She and I are really close now. I hope my kids have a great relationship like that.

Break

I am brewing coffee, mid morning. We are not "doing school" today. I am tossing some ideas around about how I school the kids so I needed to step back and take a break. Probably NOT a good idea because I do better with structure BUT what we are doing just doesn't seem right. It doesn't feel right. Yes, it's the norm but it just seems so meaningless. Surely there is a better way to instill the LOVE of learning without *realizing* it's learning. Unschooling seems to be the only thing close to what I am thinking about but I just don't feel that radical unschooling is biblical. Many of us DO NOT want to get up everyday and study God's word even though we know it produces positive results. What makes (christian)unschoolers think that their children will feel differently than them? So, I am thinking everything through and processing it. I just wish I didn't have other things to *process*. I wish that I could just work on an issue in my mind, put it in a box when I can't deal with it, and shelve it until I can handle it again. Instead, my mind works like this huge tornado, picking up things as life moves on. Each little issue being twirled around with everything else. I realize that God gives the ability to put to rest these issues but it just doesn't seem to be working for me. The thing is, I feel terrible for even THINKING I have it tough. When faced with someone that has it much worse than me(sister, people in other countries), I feel ashamed. BUT, that doesn't take away that overwhelming feeling. I feel so silly sometimes when someone knows I am having a hard time but they don't really know the whole picture. It's NOT just that I have all these kids. I think if it were only that I *might* be ok. It's that I am REALLY bad at socializing, I am constantly having to deal with ED issues(the biggest stresser for me), I have no family near me, and I am NOT one of those perfect Mothers who gets everything right and washes the sheets every week. Boy, sorry for all the woe is me post lately. As you can tell, it's been tough. I think this season will get better once Andrew gets a little bigger. I pray.

Week in review

This past week was tuff, not as bad as the week before though. The kids and I had a lot of good times that I am thankful for. I really tribute it to God. I specifically prayed for several things(not material things) this week and by his grace and mercy I was able to praise him for them. We are still a one car family but our church family has graciously stepped in and is offering to give us a ride to church. It's been hard accepting help because it is a form of humility. I wanted to specifically shout out a I'M OK!!! to my mom(my mama Sue mom) who has been worried about me. You have rightly been worried for there has been some CRAZY, UNPRODUCTIVE, and seemingly MEANINGLESS days this month but God is good and he is always there when I wake up in the morning. When the sun hasn't shown its light, the babies are sleeping, and it's just me. In this big house, amidst the undeniable presence of God, there is peace.

Taking care of "family"

I just had to write another entry today. The Church we are going to has really shown us what being a part of a church "family" is all about. Specifically, a couple in leadership have been giving to us as if we were truely family. I am so grateful, though I don't really know how to show it. My own family hasn't given to me as much as this couple has. I wish they knew how much it meant to me, depsite my feeble attempts at showing it. How do you show someone that you appreciate what they are doing? A card, words, or doing something for them? Maybe a card would be best. Yes, I will send them a thank you card. There are not many churches that treat their members as family. The last example I saw of this was when one of my family members got into some financial problems and the church stepped in, happy and excited to help! I was so grateful. Thank you God for all of those people out there striving to bless you through blessing others. Help me to grow into a Godly woman that seeks to glorify you through the building up of other believers!

I wanted to add something to my last post. I am wrong to be depressed about what might happen tomorrow, I realize this and am working on "doing everything to the glory of the Lord". Finding joy is only as far away as finding God and, obviously, he is always here. I know this and yet it is such a struggle.

Yesterday was nice. I took the older kids to Church while Jason stayed home with Andrew and Alex. It was nice to go but I did get a little upset. Lately it's been really hard to enjoy 'today" because I am worrying or getting stressed just thinking about how I am going to handle tomorrow. Seeing people at Church just reminded me how lonely I am(I have Jason of course but he can't be here during the day.) I can't really get invovled in anything during the day because it is so hard with all the kids to do anything. Since it's winter most of the things that we could do cost money. It's not so bad paying $7 to go to Edventure for one kid but when you multiply that 6 times, it's something totally different! I thought about trying to have something here at the house but I can't devote time to a sewing group and it's too noisy to do a reading group. I would love to teach or "share" what I am learning about music but not very many people care that there are 70 octaves in our frequency spectrum, only 7 of which can be musically effective. Think of what it will be like in heaven when we are not limited by our bodies! Wow. Bottom line is, this season is tuff! Next year will be better but tomorrow might be worse.

Un-events

These days are pretty uneventful. We are stuck at home for the most part. Jason's car needs breaks so he has been taking mine. Alex is really itching to get out! Last night Jason took all the littles to Sam's. We are hoping to get the breaks done or either get a third row seat put in to replace our second row seat in my car. Then I can take Jason to work because we will all fit in one car. We will see.

Blessing in disguise

We are sick-again! Charlotte was up all night last night vomiting. Yuk. Andrew also had it last night but not near as bad as Charlotte. We only have one drivable car at the moment so we have been staying home a lot. It's a good thing I guess since we are carrying around this virus. So the 1st day of the year wasn't so great for us! I am praying that that is not an indication of what the year will be like. Ugh