Saturday, October 14, 2006

If Today was my last day...

I don't know why but I was thinking about this today. What would I do if today was my last day? I have thought about this periodically through my young life and it's changed as I have aged. When I was around 12-14 I thought I would spend all day witnessing. Then I hit 15 and thought I would spend all day eating. Now it has completely changed. One of the first things I would do is call my Mom and sisters and tell them I love them and ask them to come see me. Then, I would get on the phone with my Dad and StepMom and say "See, I knew I would never see you guys. This is what you get for not coming to see me or my family, ever. I still love you though." (This is NOT a rant on my Dad or Stepmom, I am NOT mad at them. I think I would be though if I were going to die without seeing them. Besides, I don't think they would really care at that point. It would be more for me than them.) Then, I would spend all day with Dh and my children. I would cherish everything I heard, touched, and smelled. I would then get on the video camera and talk to them each individually and tell them how much I loved them. I think we need to think about this every now and then. Our days are numbered. Do we sulk on it? No. it's only for evaluation purposes. I know some people might think this is an awful thing to think about. But, it's too late by the time you need to think about it. The biggest change that I need to have, based on my thoughts here, is that I need to cherish my children and Dh. Everything about them from the sweet and stinky baby smell to the active little kid mess-ups. They are precious, eternal, and sooo special to me.

1 comment:

your CrAzY sister Boonie said...

Well Ill tell ya. If today was your last day, the world would lose an awesome individual. I have known you through the witnessing phase and through the eating phase and now through your reflective phase and one thing always prevails; no matter how easy or difficult or reflective, you have always managed to captivate my heart. I admire your honesty and your desire to grow. In fact, I have watched you grow into a wonderful mom despite other internal conflicts (you know what I mean). You guys are the epitome of the perfect family with the Christmas post cards to prove it and I love each one of one. Even Ned Flanders. Kiss the kids and of course, KICK JASON hard for me. Love u.